Sometimes you just have one of those days when the words you want to say or the ones you want to write are just stuck in your head, you can't catch them, can't capture them. You feel like you're choking because you see nothing which could release the feelings which make you shiver and fall. So today, I chose to let music speak because sometimes, words just don't come easily.
I still think of you, but everyone knows
Yeah everyone knows if you can, let it go
Radical Face - Ghost Towns
I've been sitting here patiently, talking to myself
trying to shake that sinking feeling
wishing I was somebody else
Razorlight - L.A. Waltz
Nothin' goes as planned, everything will break.
People say goodbye, in their own special way
Andrew Belle - In My Veins
'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone
Owl City - Vanilla Twilight
And it goes fast, you think of the past
Suddenly everything has changed
Suddenly everything has changed
The Postal Service - Suddenly Evertyhing Has Changed
When all that you've tried, leaves nothing but holes inside,
It seems like you're wired, to stay here held in time,
Cos nothing seems to change, oh no.
Joe Brooks - Holes Inside
It's hard to accept what you don't understand
And it's hard to launch without knowing how to land
Army Of Me - Going Through Changes
I was 22, alone with nothing to do and I couldn’t sleep
'Cause all those cold days returned with their old ways of causing
New apathy
Sky Sailing - I Live Alone
They say that home is where the heart is
I guess I haven't found my home.
We keep driving around in circles
afraid to call this place our home.
Ingrid Michaelson - Are We There Yet
Don't worry, I don't always feel that way. Those feelings come and go like ebb and flow, and sometimes I don't know how to fight them. Today is just one of those days I don't know where I'm heading to. I'm scared that I can't become the person I want to be. Soon lots of things in my life will change, as so much already changed in the last 12 months. Too much changed, and now I hope, it'll finally change for the good. But I'm scared.
Change is a scary thing, isn't it? So many unknowns make for a bit of apprehension and nostalgia for the way things were.
ReplyDeleteBut, change brings new, interesting things along with the sometimes bad things, so I think it's worth it.
Please don't worry yourself, I hate to see you upset in any way. And know that I understand how you're feeling because I was just in that mind set yesterday.
Thank you so so much for your kind words. It's so heartwarming to know that you care! I don't know if the change itself scares me or more the way I might react to it. I have so high expectations towards myself and I'm afraid to fail. Actually I'm really looking forward to finally start with my courses in August because I've dreamt of it for so long, but who knows if I will succeed? What if it turns out to be the wrong choice for me? So many question.. I hope to talk to you sometime this week again! <3
DeleteI think I know what you mean. When nostalgia and disappointment and vagueness and apprehension mix together it can leave you feeling very strange and scared. I hope you feel better soon. :)
ReplyDeleteWow, I wasn't really able to put all the feelings in words, but you got it right! It's true.. Excited for the future, but so scared as well, still thinking about the past. You want to move on, but you don't know how and where to go. Thank you so much! :) I just think too much, that's the problem :-/
Delete:) Yes! That's just how I feel. You're very welcome. :) And yeah, I think too much as well.
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