Being an introvert is defintely one of the toughest parts in my life. And regarding the fact that it's a really big part of my life, doesn't make it easier.
Since I came to know I was an intovert (which I found out kind of late), I don't feel so weird anymore in situations which request social interaction. I don't feel weird when I listen and don't talk, I don't feel weird when I retreat in my shell when I am in a big group and I don't feel weird when I am already looking forward to go home when I spent some hours on a party. Now I just know it's because my brain deals differently with information. It reacts more sensible on it's environment and is so exhausted way more quicklier. It was a huge thing for me finding that word because I could never really describe this trait of mine. Was I shy? Or just calm? Or just weird? Mostly I just thought I was weird. But now I know, I am actually not. And that's funny because I thought I'd know everything about me.
The problem which comes along with me being an introvert is the fact that I don't really like spending (a lot) time with most of the people I know (except from a very few), but tend to feel lonely very quickly. Altough I really love being on my own and need that too, I miss being around my people.
It's really hard to feel like this, to be an introvert here where everybody just talks and talks and people who are quiet don't get a word. I don't usually start telling things without other people inviting me, and I don't want to interrupt them when they are talking to me. Often I end up sitting there and listening for hours to friends who don't realize that I actually would have something to say if they told me they wanted to hear it. Maybe those people really don't know that not everybody is blurting his or her thoughts out. They just think everyone would be like them. Be extroverted.
I'm not, and I will never be. I like being able to listen, to dream, to think things through, to spend quality time with my best friends. But the world isn't circling around those things, only very few people are. I don't know if I should care about it, I can't change it anyways. I'm a dreamer and I will always be the quiet one, and although many people don't know about the introvert-extrovert-thing, they might know that still waters run deep. So let's run deep.
This is really well written, thank you. This is one of the reasons I love the internet, people like us are given the opportunity to speak up and to be heard. I don't often read things like this, although I think maybe a lot of people feel this way. It's reassuring to know you also have the feeling of not wanting to really talk to anyone and feeling frustrated in large groups, or even small ones sometimes, but then suddenly feeling lonely when those people leave. I'm looking forward to reading some of your other pieces. Please keep writing. :)
ReplyDeleteAw, thank you so much!! You're so right, I think lots of people who are hiding on all these websites are persons who are struggling with telling how they feel because they just have very few people in their real life to whom they'd open up to. I'm so glad to hear that you often feel that way, too. I thought for a long time that it's just weird to be like that.
DeleteI'll definitely keep writing because it always makes me so happy when people can relate to my posts :-) Thank you for reading, I really appreciate you! :-)
This is exactly what I went through. I had no idea I was an introvert until Adam posted "10 Myths About Introverts". I can relate to this perfectly, so thankyou. :)
ReplyDeleteYES I found it out because of that article too, with the difference I read it kinda late. But I was so surprised as I read through it and saw myself in every bit of it, it fell like scales from my eyes. Absolutely awesome. I'm so glad you can relate to it :-)
DeleteSame here! I was like, "This is so me. Every single bit of it!!!" :D
DeleteJust as you and Madd, I found out I was an introvert from Adam's post. It stinks sometimes, doesn't it? But just the same I wouldn't trade this trait of mine for anything. I like being the person that people tell things to because they know I'll listen. I also hate when I'm forced to listen to shallow, superficial things people have decided to ramble on about to me. Awesome post! It's super accurate to what I'm thinking and feeling and very relevant. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I was already thinking that probably lots of you can relate to it. It really is annoying very often, but I wouldn't want to be that superficial person with lots lots of friends from which very few are close ones and who just don't appreciate being listened to. I find extreme extroverts very exhausting.
ReplyDeleteI really don't know what I would do without this one post of Adam, it really opened my eyes. I hope I can thank him one day for it! :)