Trees

We're growing apart.

It's not an easy thing to think, but it's what I am thinking about a lot in the past months, and that thought just doesn't want to go away, I can't shut it down, I can't erase it anymore. Everything used to be so easy.

Once, for your birthday, I wrote a poem. It was about us, us compared to two trees growing on a field, next to each other. From the outside you'd just see these two tress, but if you could look under the earth, you'd see all the roots that are entwined, holding each other steady, not moving anywhere, not changing, no matter what storms and winds would try to shake them down. We'd always be like that, indestructible. Because trees, they just don't change, do they?

Now I see how naive I was. Things are changing with the blink of an eye, so how could I assume our things wouldn't change, wouldn't change that much it would change us?

Your life seems so different from mine now, I can't comprehend your choices anymore, I don't even feel like we are alike anymore. I thought we'd be, but now I see how different we are from each other, how different everything is. How you wouldn't understand the way I feel and how I don't understand the way you do. It just didn't use to be that way and I don't want it that way, but life is just racing on and on and leaving me behind, cutting us out of each other's lives as if was such an easy thing to do. As if we were just chapters ending, just branches breaking, or waves sinking into the sea.

We are no trees, in the end. It was a nice thought, you know, but it's just not the way it is. Because trees may grow, but not apart, and that's exactly what we are doing.

And you know, it doesn't even hurt as much as I thought it would. I used to think it would be the worst thing ever to lose you, but in the end, all I do is missing the old days, all the things we did and the fun we had. Maybe this is just natural after all.

Maybe your roots are just growing into another direction. A bit searching for somewhere else, where I am not the first choice anymore, where I don't understand the world. Where I don't belong. A bit away from my life, slowly, really slowly, but I can feel how it is changing ... and how the roots are loosening.

Losing each other.

Slowly.