Different Settings

Often songs inspire me to write. Songs or photos, but often songs whose lyrics awoke feelings I didn't know there were, feelings you can't quite capture, like raindrops you try to photograph, but no matter which perspective you take or which settings you use, somehow it's just a blurred picture. And that's what my mind often feels like - a blurred picture. Feelings mashed and sewed together, broken apart, lost, floating. I like describing things, if you didn't notice that yet, even if the only thing I am trying to describe is something I can't put in words.

But let's go back to the start. Songs. A song. There were two songs that inspired me to write today, and I'll chose the one that is slowly climbing on top of my list of most-played songs because it has been almost constantly on my playlist since the day I first listenend to it.

I am talking about Base Jumping by Port Blue.

If you follow me on twitter, you might have seen these sudden bursts of excitement and happiness and feelings, me just tweeting BASE JUMPING in caps because I don't know what to do with myself whenever I listen to this song. I can't describe it.

One thing about it is this little part, two persons talking to each other, their voices sound as if they were far away, from an old movie, very classic, a man and a woman. It's really short but yet powerful and it gives the song something ... mystic. Everytime I hear that part of the song I wonder if it's from a movie, and I wish I knew which one it was.

However, the thing is, that this little part is something that inspires me to an incredible extent.

"You’re all confused, aren’t you?"

"Aren’t you?"

"Yes. It’s funny that everything the way it is is accounted by the way you feel. 

I mean, if you didn’t feel the way you do, things wouldn’t be the way they are, would they?"

It gives me chills just re-reading this quote, because, you know - if you really understood it, really soaked it into your pores and planted it in your brain, your life would never be the same again. Problems wouldn't be problems anymore because you don't see them as problems. You could see them as changes, you could see them as challenges. Or you could just try to deal with them without adding too many emotions to them. It involves some kind of relativism - saying that there is no truth in the world because every kind of truth is related to another one, as well as everything we see, feel, think, sense is just related to something else, to our own perspective. It also makes me think of buddhism which involves a similiar thought.

I just find it stunning. In every possible way. We all construct our own worlds, with everything in and around it and all we can do is see it from our own perspective - which can be bright-pink sunglasses that find light in the darkest winter days, of which can be like a thick fog around our heads that is sucking in every feeling there is. It's like different settings on your camera - the happy colourful one, the black-and-white one, the bright one, the blurred one. The joyful feeling, the sad feeling, the confused feeling. It seems as if our eyes work the same way, they paint what they see in the colours our feelings 

It makes me think how we are the creators of our own happiness or our own doom - at least to some extent. And that is what makes me wonder about my own life, my own problems and struggles that sometimes weigh me down like a rock hanging around my neck. If I didn't feel that way and didn't see things that way, they just simply wouldn't be that way.

I wish I could tell you how to understand that. How to embrace that. It could change everything, and every day we get the possibility to change, make ourselves better, but then I just find myself doing the same old things, thinking the same old thoughts, everything is playing over and over again like a song on repeat and it makes me wonder, "Is this all there is? Is this my life? Is this how it is supposed to be?". I wonder if it will ever change, and if it will, what will change it. We all think that maybe someday something great will happen that will change us to the better. We are all very passive because we don't realize how we could be the ones to change everything.

Maybe we can try, you know. We can try to remember that we have our own perspective, and realizing that will already change something, change our interaction with other people, our conversations with friends. Realizing that they feel different than we do and the way they feel is not wrong and the way we feel is not right. There are things you can do, if you think about it.

I think this could have been one of my longest blog posts,  and I hope it's not boring. Well, if you kept reading to this point, it probably wasn't. Maybe it inspired you a bit. That would already be enough.

P.S.: After publishing this I got told from which movie the quote is and what it could mean in the context of it. I was stoked to read that little interpretation! If you want to read it, click here.

What do you see?
A duck or a bunny?